


(INPROGRESS) Gimme Back My Bullets

by seducifersvessel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Croatoan, DeanCas - Freeform, Destiel - Freeform, Episode: s05e04 The End, Feels, Flashbacks, Happy, Impala, M/M, Memories, Motel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-27
Updated: 2014-03-27
Packaged: 2018-01-17 06:21:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1377094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seducifersvessel/pseuds/seducifersvessel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam are driving from the Bunker to check out a Croatoan outbreak in Washington State, and Cas surprises Dean in his room at the motel they stopped at in Colorado. (Sorry guys, I had a bunch of ideas for this fic, but it's suspended for a while. I get busy during the summer)</p>
            </blockquote>





	(INPROGRESS) Gimme Back My Bullets

“Life is so strange when it’s changing, yes indeed…” The silence that fills the Impala between songs on Dean’s Lynyrd Skynyrd cassette tape is broken by the start of the next song. Dean gives a small smile, and glances over at Sammy sleeping against the window on the passenger side, using his crumpled up canvas jacket as a makeshift pillow.

The boys were headed to investigate a possible outbreak of the Croatoan virus that took out a town on the Northwest coast of Washington state and was slowly making its way towards Seattle. Of course, it’s always possible that a family or two finally acted out on some kind of feud or over-the-top revenge scheme. Since the news only made it National for the daily 6 o'clock news release and most of the town’s survivors were already gunned down, Dean had made the executive decision to leave the bunker right away, drive until midnight and get a fresh start around 5 in the morning.

Dean continues down the highway, checking road signs. It's been a while since he's driven in a long cross-country trip like this because of the fall of the angels, but Croatoan is a big deal. His eyes linger on Sammy before focusing back on the dim and foggy road. _It's okay, though_ , he reminds himself. _It might be 2014, but the outbreak probably isn't even Croatoan. It's probably just a bunch of crazies. They're just checking to be sure. Better safe than sorry, right?_

 _Just look at Sammy_ , Dean thinks. _Come on, he's right there. He's wearing plaid like he usually does, not that impossibly white suit. Look at him, look at him. There's no red rose. Lucifer lied, he did, we don't always end up here no matter what choices we make, no matter what details we alter. We can't. Lucifer doesn't win, we do. We already did, right?_

Dean thinks through the list of reasons he's been going through at night, the only way to fall asleep. _Look, we would've been at Camp Chitaqua for months. Croatoan would've started months ago. Bobby got out of his wheelchair from that photograph. Come on, Bobby's dead, for goodness sakes! Chuck's gone. I've never even met Risa, my lieutenant or whoever she was supposed to be to me. And Castiel..._

 _Hah! Cas is no hippie, and he's definitely not in orgies with a bunch of women!_ _Cas..._ He trails off, then refocuses.

_Look, it's impossible, Dean. Pull yourself together! Michael's gone, Lucifer's gone, both in the cage. Sammy's here, I'm here, neither of us ever said yes. It's okay, it's okay._

Dean keeps chanting, "we're okay" inside his head. It's been repeated so much it's almost become his mantra. He taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time with the words, and in time the unsettled feeling slides out of his soul and the words lose their meaning as his music interjects.

"Gimme back my bullets, put 'em back where they belong. Ain't fooling around 'cause I done had my fun. Ain't gonna see no more damage done. Gimme back, gimme back my bullets. Oh, put 'em back where they belong." Dean turns off the highway onto an exit with a Lodging sign.

"Been up and down since I turned seventeen. Well I've been on top, and then it seems I've lost my dream. But I got it back, I'm feeling better every day..." Dean cuts the music off as the motel sign comes into view on the left.

"Hey. Hey, Sammy." Dean reaches over and shakes his younger brother awake with his right hand. "Wake up, Sammy, we're here." 

"What?" Sam peers at Dean over his shoulder with bleary eyes. "Huh? Oh."

After parking, they grab duffel bags out of the trunk and head towards the main office of the Silver Saddle Motel. They're almost underneath the awning when they hear a sudden, ringing footstep behind them where moments before there was only the occasional semi truck and mini van.

"Hello, Dean." It's that deep, gravely voice he knows so well. They turn around; it's Castiel in his signature trenchcoat, his tie swinging to the side from the one step he took towards the brothers. "Sam," he says, nodding at the brother with whom he shares a less profound bond.

"Cas." Dean stares at him, reveling in the name of his best friend.

"Um, yeah. Hi." Sam said. "Cas, what are you doing here?"

"I was worried. It's the Croatoan virus. I do remember where Zachariah brought you, Dean." His eyebrows are furrowed and his lips pursed in a small, worried frown. "My older brother, Lucifer, ah... wearing Sam to the prom, you said?" 

"Yeah, well, okay." Sam says, trying to shoot Dean quizzical stares but missing his eye contact every time." Let's just go in, get a room, okay?" He look at Castiel, waiting for him to zap off to either a top-secret angelic mission or a local burger joint. "Are you, um, going somewhere? Have any plans?" Sam sucked in cold air through his grin, hoping to get away and go to bed without any awkward moments with the angel.

"I think I'll just stay here with you," Cas says, looking at Dean. Short, gruff, straight to the point. Well, that's Castiel, ever the angel.

"Oh. F-fine." Sam pirouettes around on his heel, his feet heavy on the pavement as he enters the Silver Saddle office.   _Okay, great. Cas is here,_ he thinks.  _I've been sandwiched in way too many weird things between him and Dean. I'm way too tired tonight to deal with their crap._

Sam exits the motel office with two room keys hanging and swinging on his index finger. He throws one without warning to Dean, who's hand automatically goes up to catch it with a clang. Sam had seen Dean and Castiel waiting for him through the window of the building; Dean had his hands in his pockets, shuffling back and forth while Cas stood on edge, leaning forward almost out of his coat, his eyes fixed intently on his friend.

 _Yeah,_ Sam thinks,  _I made a good choice._ "Hey, Dean?"

"Yup," his brother says, swinging the key on his finger like the "cuckoo" sign that kids make talking about lunatics.

"I'm just really, really tired. I'm gonna take this one room and you can stay up and figure Cas out, okay?" Sam walks away, not waiting for an answer. There's no way he would stay and get pulled into anything weird going on.

"Oh," Dean says turning back to Cas. "Oh. Okay." He clenches the key in his fist to stop the twirling and looks at the number. It's room 138, to the right of the door that Sammy just disappeared into. "Come on, Cas," he says, hoisting his bag over his shoulder with a grunt and pretending it doesn't matter to him whether or not the angel stays. "The room's this way, if you're coming in."

Castiel doesn't say anything, but Dean can hear Cas' footsteps trudging behind him and when he opens the door, Cas ducks under Dean's propping arm and enters before him.

"There's only one bed, Dean." Dean pauses unpacking his duffel bag and turns around to see Cas standing in the middle of the room. His words don't mean anything, he's just stating the facts.

"Ah, crap."  _Come on Sammy, what were you thinking? You know they asked you what kind of rooms we wanted._ Dean starts walking to head across the motel room to the bathroom, but Cas stops him.

"Dean," he says, "Dean," stretching a hand across his friend's body to grab his arm. "Dean, I know you're upset."

Dean turns to face him, but jerks his head back halfway around. "Cas, you remember the talk we had. Personal space?"

"I know, Dean. I remember what you said." Cas doesn't move.

"Cas?" Dean leans his head forward like he usually would, about to explain for the hundredth time the implications of the "personal bubble," but stops when he realized the movement puts their noses at mere inches apart.

"Yes, Dean." The angel's face is angled up toward's Deans, eyes so fixed on his friend's face that if it was possible to pour your soul out with a gaze, Castiel's vessel would have been emptied long before. 

"Cas..." Dean is exasperated, but the kind that is paired with love and happiness and that beautiful swelling sensation in your chest because you are here with someone you need, taking care of him, like you always want to be able to. Dean had meant to finish the sentence, "come on, just step back a little, or flap your wings and zoom away to the bunker for the night," but somehow he doesn't really want to anymore.

"Yes, Dean," Cas says, and takes a step closer. Dean's looking down at him and Cas is staring up and his eyes are wide and happy and longing because how do you get closer than the way that Dean's nose is centimeters to the left of his and he can feel Dean's breath stuttering and warm on his skin?

Cas suddenly tilts his head to the right and pressed onward, bridging the rest of the gap between the two. His lips are pressed softly, firmly, longingly against Dean's, but after a few seconds he pulls away.

Dean's eyes are wide, his posture tense and taken aback. 

"Is that how humans do it, Dean?" Cas asks, not comprehending the line he has just crossed in Dean's mind. "I don't have much experience, you know."

"Well, not exactly." Dean's head is reeling and his mind is going a million miles an hour but not actually processing anything post-kiss and all he can think to do is just act and... show him. And so he curls his left hand around Cas' jawline and the fingers of his right hand are intertwined with Cas' hair and kisses his angel. Cas melts into him and for a split second they are one creature: two heads, one body, and a single set of wings powerful enough to carry them both.

 "Wait, what?" Dean pulls away. He hadn't thought through his actions before, and it disturbs him how right he felt with Cas.

"You kissed me, Dean," Cas replied, taking Dean's question to mean he was literally confused.

"No, that's not what I meant," Dean says. "I was asking... what are we doing?"

"Is this one of the questions I'm supposed to answer or one of the ones I'm not?" Cas wonders, still perplexed by human customs.

"Shut up, Cas." Dean says gruffly, too tired and too confused to think beyond what he feels.  _What the hell,_ he thinks.  _It's Cas. I love Cas, I do. I need him. Actually, I need him right now._

 

 With his left arm hooked around Cas' waist, drawing the smaller man closer to him, Dean lifts Cas' chin up with the crook of his index finger and kisses him again, sure this time, on purpose. 

 


End file.
